ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
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No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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