Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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