we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
