i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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