Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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