so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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