I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
