The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
