I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
