So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
