So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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