are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
