I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
