Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
