I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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