I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize