and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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