The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
