And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
