I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize