Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
