Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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