So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
