Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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