shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
