They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
