Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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