True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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