tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
