I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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