I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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