S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
