dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
