My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
