Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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