the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
