I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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