im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
