Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
