were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
