4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
