she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
