You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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