My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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