you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
