I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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