bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
