we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
