Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize