I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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