Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
