you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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