My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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