The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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