Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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