Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Where is the hickey?

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  (408): Where is the hickey? http://tfl.nu/scjm
  Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  mornings like this make me wish i was morman.

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  (978): mornings like this make me wish i was morman. http://tfl.nu/eeuj
  Replies (32) Good night (1157) Bad night (2165)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie

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  (816): Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie http://tfl.nu/yzwd
  Replies (11) Good night (3162) Bad night (580)
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  (760): View more from California

  We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.

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  (760): We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again. http://tfl.nu/a0p6
  Replies (23) Good night (4400) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY

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  (864): she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY http://tfl.nu/d7k6
  Replies (20) Good night (6298) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash

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  (708): Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash http://tfl.nu/zsge
  Replies (6) Good night (3410) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.

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  (573): Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award. http://tfl.nu/wv69
  Replies (5) Good night (2526) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"

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  (217): His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances" http://tfl.nu/5wgw
  Replies (11) Good night (1475) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose

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  (303): I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive (1-303): Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose http://tfl.nu/eyzf
  Replies (6) Good night (871) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went

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  (704): he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went http://tfl.nu/pwu0
  Replies (12) Good night (696) Bad night (1634)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?

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  (781): Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it? http://tfl.nu/aevy
  Replies (10) Good night (1372) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...

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  (919): So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea... http://tfl.nu/bj54
  Replies (6) Good night (486) Bad night (1495)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.

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  (256): Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life. http://tfl.nu/gj8o
  Replies (3) Good night (1018) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.

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  (218): So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/i9rc
  Replies (5) Good night (415) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.

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  (847): Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken. http://tfl.nu/xu0v
  Replies (3) Good night (484) Bad night (258)

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