Do you still have your period?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
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Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.