Pappa wants mamma naked
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
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I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom