So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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