Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?

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(412): Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline? http://tfl.nu/g8m6

Replies (45) Good night (1491) Bad night (516)
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(404): View more from Georgia

last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl

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(404): last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl http://tfl.nu/5x3v

Replies (19) Good night (2537) Bad night (622)
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(623): View more from Arizona

she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

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(623): she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five. http://tfl.nu/kcej

Replies (22) Good night (4513) Bad night (1124)
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(716): View more from New York

she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.

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(716): she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives. http://tfl.nu/3y3d

Replies (9) Good night (1282) Bad night (5055)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?

(828): View more from North Carolina

Is it working?

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(810): Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ? (828): Is it working? http://tfl.nu/tjek

Replies (18) Good night (4736) Bad night (1042)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.

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(417): Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there. http://tfl.nu/jea6

Replies (8) Good night (3462) Bad night (1270)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.

(224): View more from Illinois

Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.

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(312): I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks. (224): Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however. http://tfl.nu/lo15

Replies (8) Good night (2068) Bad night (658)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.

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(484): future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/vyz8

Replies (9) Good night (1712) Bad night (539)
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(909): View more from California

I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.

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(909): I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird. http://tfl.nu/vyym

Replies (9) Good night (1106) Bad night (468)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test

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(910): I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test http://tfl.nu/ucs5

Replies (4) Good night (1920) Bad night (445)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

what type of emt are you

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(860): i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off. (1-860): what type of emt are you http://tfl.nu/8o94

Replies (4) Good night (1424) Bad night (642)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Why do you think she gets more guys?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that

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(603): Why do you think she gets more guys? (1-603): well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that http://tfl.nu/1cti

Replies (2) Good night (1508) Bad night (423)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."

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(901): I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking." http://tfl.nu/tuv1

Replies (3) Good night (533) Bad night (200)
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(718): View more from New York

I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on

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(718): I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on http://tfl.nu/z8s8

Replies (4) Good night (450) Bad night (316)
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(650): View more from California

He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.

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(650): He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him. http://tfl.nu/9mw9

Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (365)

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