Porn is love you can see.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara