it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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