hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
