I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
