May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
