Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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