whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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