How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
