I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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